Our First Dance

Cordova, AL
August 6, 2012

 

“You’re an idiot!”, I texted my very recent ex-friend. I say “friend”. He was no friend really, just the fourth man to treat me like somebody until he got what he wanted. Then I’d once again be treated like nothing. Sadly, as I’m sure someone can relate, I genuinely cared about him, just as I had the other three players.

I was always wearing my heart on my sleeve and giving it to the wrong man. I’d given thirteen and a half years and one beautiful daughter to the man before those four jokers. Deep down though I knew they were throwing away a diamond. “You are a good woman!” I told myself. “You are lovable!”

 

Tallahassee, FL (320 miles away)
August 6, 2012 

 

I was sitting home alone that evening, laptop open. I always like to make new friends, but that’s about all I had. Women wanted to be friends, or they got to know me, and would run! The women that did want me, well, I didn’t want them. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked myself. “What am I doing wrong? I’m 35 years old, never been married, and still single.”

That’s when I came up with a plan.

I went onto my social media group. I had my own group and several followers. There I laid out my clever trap. I posted a small “thumbs up” image. Specifically “Thumbs up if you’re Single”. With the bait set, I waited.

 

Cordova, Alabama
{later that day}

 

As I slowly made my way up the long driveway of the farm where my rental trailer was located, I thought about the day I’d just spent driving around alone. My heart was broken by the selfishness of my so-called friend. The previous day had been the anniversary of the day my brother-n-law had passed away in a truck wreck. I was counting on my so-called friend to be there for me, but instead, he chose to be with her.

I stayed in my car once I arrived at the top of the hill. My cellphone worked better outside. I barely had any reception inside my home. I signed into my social media account and was drawn to the page I’d started following two weeks earlier. Awww he was a good looking man, but I am a loyal gal. I was at the time (so I thought) in an exclusive relationship so I hadn’t given the social media stranger a second look. Well, I definitely didn’t give him a third look!

The page was called “Grid’s Great Garage” and something about Grid made my heart skip a beat! I was drawn in by his deep, hazel eyes, short dark hair, and perfect lips. His eyes, outlined by brows and lashes so perfect most women would do anything to have them! In the photo, a large brimmed cowboy hat hung low, adding to the face of mystery. There was just something about those eyes though. I could feel that there was a deep underlying sadness beyond the goofiness and fun of the page.

I’d been following closely, but I refused to stare. I was loyal to, what’s his name again? It didn’t matter. I saw that Grid had posted an image that said: “Like if you’re single”.

“I am now,” I sighed, recalling the events of the day as I clicked the thumbs up.

 

Tallahassee, FL 
{a little later, still}

 

I waited for a few hours, then I went back to my well-placed trap. I could not believe my eyes as I scrolled through the numerous faces and saw the most beautiful redhead! “She’s too pretty to be single!” I said to myself as I quickly sent a request to get to know her a little better. “She’s too beautiful to be single. How is she single? What’s up with these Alabama boys?”

 

Cordova, Alabama
{evening that day}

 

“Oh, here we go again. These men are all the same. Wait, that name looks familiar. Oh my gosh! It’s Grid? No, it can’t be!”

With a quick click of an “accept” button, an amazing connection took place! At first, he was just laying on the charm. I was just looking for someone to listen, still heartbroken over the anniversary of my brother. The conversation began with a mutual understanding that we had both been hurt and left to be alone. Neither of us was looking to be in a relationship!

That lasted about a minute. Our new friendship blossomed, not overnight, but within minutes! I was pulled in by the goodness within that man’s heart. He admired the loyalty that I’d given when nobody deserved it. {Truth be told, I still do}.

It seemed odd that the heavens would bring us together. We were two complete opposites who were getting along great. There was just one problem. We lived 320 miles apart from each other!

 

Tallahassee, FL
{one magical evening}

 

I knew right away that I’d found someone special. Since the moment she’d accepted my request to connect online, we had been talking. It started in the social media chat and after a while carried onto our phones in text. I admired her stories of strength and loyalty. She showed me so much respect, but I knew that I had to return that. I knew that since she was being so honest, that it was only fair that I would be honest back. I knew that meant I would lose her but I couldn’t take the guilt of my secret. “Since you were so honest, I guess I should be honest with you,” I said with a heavy heart, knowing that my beautiful angel was about to slip through my fingers.

 

Cordova, AL
{one amazing night}

 

As I rambled on about my life, he became quiet. For a long time, I wondered if he’d already decided that I was just too much to handle. I was used to being too much to handle. I’d pretty much decided to just give in to being the town’s official ‘give em what they want’ gal. After a long pause, he texted. My heart nearly stopped. I just knew this was going to be his good-bye. He said he had a secret.

Immediately I thought about the deep, mysterious sorrow that lingered in his beautiful hazel eyes. Curious as to what dark secrets he was holding back, I encouraged him to proceed. My heart was already beyond any point of caring what it was that he had to say. Short of being an ax murderer, I felt pretty good about this one.

 

Tallahassee, FL
{UGH the secret thing had not run her off. I was going to have to say it.}

 

“For starters,” I texted. “I’ve been to prison. I did six years.”

 

Cordova, AL
{My uncle did time, no biggy}

 

Upon hearing this, three thoughts came to my mind. My first thought was that my uncle had spent years in and out of prison and God had turned his life around. My second thought was a music video that flashed across my thoughts from my favorite band the Newsboys. A man in handcuffs was being placed into a police car as the song says “God is a God of second chances”. My final thought was that experience had taught me to proceed with caution, but that I truly felt this man deserved to be given an honest chance. I asked him what his charge was and awaited his response.

 

Tallahassee, FL
{It was over}

 
“I’m sorry. That’s a conversation killer. It was very nice to meet you. I’m going to go now.” I texted the words as quickly as I could as to rip the bandaid off quickly. I couldn’t tell her what I did. I couldn’t tell her. It was better I just walk away and she forgot that she met me. It was stupid to think that I could have a woman like that interested in a loser like me!

 

Cordova, AL 
{Noooooooo}

 

I’d asked too soon. I’d been too forward. Here he was struggling just to tell me he’d been in prison and I pushed too hard! I felt terrible. My heart began to pound. I visualized this loving, gentle creature walking away from me with his head hung low. Then, my imagination began to take control.

 

{Somewhere in her wild imagination}

 

“Just where do you think you’re going?” She asked, running toward him {in text}.

“What? You mean you still want to talk to me?” he responded.

“Of course I do. So you’ve been in prison. You just met me. You are obviously not proud of your mistake, so let’s dance and you can tell me when you are ready.”

“Dance?” he questioned, puzzled by her request from 320 miles away.

“Yes, may I have this dance?” she asked. “I extend my hand.”

“I take your hand with honor,” he replied.

 

{Lost in our imaginations}

 

He gently held my hand in his and pulled me close. I rested my head on his strong shoulder and our bodies began to sway to the melody within our hearts.

“I was close enough to hear her heartbeat.”

“I could feel his breath upon my neck.” 

I, in my car, in Cordova, Alabama. He in his bed in Tallahassee, Florida. Hand in hand, we danced the night away under the starry night sky. 

©2019leesaloveblog

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