Feeling discouraged…just don’t want to talk to anyone besides my husband. I want to close myself off from the world and focus entirely on providing a better life for us. Writing, as I assumed it would, has taken a back burner. Since I can’t find a job either. I guess we’ll just sink.
As many of you know, this isn’t actually Love’s Journal #1, but the first 300 Love’s Journals are in a file that I lovingly refer to as “blog-mess” which was created after Love’s Deep Waters, my first blog here, collapsed during its journey to self-hosting.
I thought long and hard about writing our story and decided I’d rather just document it! I don’t have time or money to fiddle around with creating content while paying my bills.
And so here goes!
Today has been a stormy day. I woke at 2:30 AM to get my task work completed before the storms came around 8 AM. For the most part, I succeeded. I was exhausted by the time the rain began and went back to bed after walking Sibby. When I woke again at 10:30 the power was out. I wrote my Lovie a letter until the power and internet came back up, but I’ve been unable to focus on work because he hasn’t called.
I just heard today that the scientists at the National Hurricane Center are now saying that Hurricane Michael that hit us last October was indeed a Category 5 hurricane. Why were our inmates left in the path of a Category 5 hurricane?!? It just doesn’t make sense. Juan wants me to buy him a clothing badge that they are selling for donations to the victims. He wants to wear that badge with honor because he was there, like a sitting duck, when almost all of Panama City was wiped from the map! He experienced it first hand and had to go through the fear of not having contact with me for 10 days. As I was going through the fear of receiving no answers from the authorities on where they had been later evacuated to. The CO’s were allowed to come into our personal chatroom and harass us, calling us stupid for supporting inmates, and telling us that they deserved to be left in the hurricane.
He’s back in Panama City now, after spending some time near Miami. I know he’s back in a safer facility, but when he doesn’t call…it just creates such an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Of course, I know he’s okay. I know God watches over him. I just need to hear his voice.
My phone did just pick up a voicemail of him trying to call. It didn’t come through. I’ve checked my phone. It’s working. This is all just so frustrating!
To think that one stupid decision to cheat on your infertile wife to make a baby combined with a bunch of high and drunk liars, has nearly completely destroyed my family and my life. People try to force me to go out and enjoy life. I don’t want to. I’m quite content sitting by my phone waiting on the one person who truly cares to call so we can talk things out.
I’ve seen and heard a lot of negativity lately and I’m just done! I am turning off my comments section because this is just a close-ended vent from a prison wife. Nothing more, nothing less.
First, they verbally abuse us during a hurricane crisis, one of which I was personally unaware of my husband’s well being for TEN DAYS! Now there is a “Feeling Cute Challenge”. There is nothing cute or funny about joking about our loved ones well being!
This is WRONG on any standard. Would you feel cute about harming an animal or a baby?!? Hell NO! The press would eat you alive. But it’s okay to leave our loved ones in the path of a Category 4 almost 5 hurricane. It’s okay to joke about harming our loved ones. That’s okay? That’s funny? NO This needs to stop. These people need to lose their jobs and learn how to respect human life!
We go through hell out here as inmate families. We worry about gang violence and things going wrong. We worry about inmates who want to fight or CO’s who just like to control things too much. WE HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT! This is no different than a crooked cop! Which we also have experience with after watching a homeless man have his head nearly shot off 10 feet from us by a man with a badge!
Examples of behavior in question. These are social media tweets. It’s a trend going on and it’s not funny to us!
“Feeling cute, might shoot your baby daddy today . . . idk.”
“Feeling cute, might take your homeboy to the hole later.”
“Feeling cute, I’m still going to lock you down.”
The corrections officers making these comments are from various states working in various jails and prisons.
Ke’Nya Hill posted that she was feeling cute and “might shoot your baby daddy today,” according to a post on her Facebook page.
Mom’s Day is coming up and this mom cannot be more proud of my Angel for building a store for her art!
She’s just getting started! There’s no stopping this girl once she makes her mind up!